I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am
#2
It's a proven fact that the last 10% of a program
takes just as long to make as the previous 90%
takes just as long to make as the previous 90%
#3
#define sizeof(x) ((rand()%500+1) * 4)
#4
#define sizeof(x) ((int)(&x))
#5
PERL is the one programming language that
forces you to use as many emoticons as possible
forces you to use as many emoticons as possible
#6
You only need 2 tools in life.
If it moves, and shouldn't, use duct tape.
If it doesn't move, and should, use WD-40.
If it moves, and shouldn't, use duct tape.
If it doesn't move, and should, use WD-40.
#7
Technology will never be so advanced
that "whack it on the table" isn't an option.
that "whack it on the table" isn't an option.
#8
That just made me unreasonably happy...
#9
Luckily, my personal Reality Distortion Field
still seems to be working at full power...
still seems to be working at full power...
#10
I put the "ick" in "magic"...
#11
The moral of the story is that with a
contrived example, you can prove anything.
contrived example, you can prove anything.
#12
You... brilliant fiend. I would never have
guessed that your plan was to do nothing.
guessed that your plan was to do nothing.
#13
It is possible to compare apples, oranges,
planets, and 17th century philosophers..
if you squint hard enough
planets, and 17th century philosophers..
if you squint hard enough
#14
Yes, there are bugs! Many bugs!
#15
The Large Print Giveth
and the Small Print Taketh Away
and the Small Print Taketh Away
#16
We re-welcome you back to the stage of history... again
#17
In the event this airplane should become a waterplane,
your seat cushion or the passenger next to you
may be used as a flotation device...
your seat cushion or the passenger next to you
may be used as a flotation device...
#18
Roses are #ff0000, violets are #0000ff
#19
Duct tape is like the Force:
it has a Light Side, a Dark Side,
and it binds the Universe together.
it has a Light Side, a Dark Side,
and it binds the Universe together.
#20
Thou hast done great naughty
#21
Soul Calibur
Wielding weapons of improbable dimensions
in the Age of History
Wielding weapons of improbable dimensions
in the Age of History
#22
All those who believe in telekinesis please raise my hand...
#23
Sorry, but computers are not yet that advanced...
#24
Lies!
Terrible lies spread by my enemies to discredit me!
Terrible lies spread by my enemies to discredit me!
#25
Graaainss.....
Graaaaaaaiiiiinnssss.....
Graaaaaaaiiiiinnssss.....
#26
Why does this code work?
#27
That sounds suspiciously like a bet...
#28
That's bizarre to the point that it doesn't affect me
#29
What is a leet?
Is that a type of ferret?
Is that a type of ferret?
#30
Fighting with Gundam is always the best solution.
#31
I am so going to quote that out of context...
#32
I don't mean fixed like it works
#33
Where's the "No, that's not OK" button?
#34
Would you try for a Scooby Snack?
#35
Unix is user friendly.
It's just very picky about who it calls a friend
It's just very picky about who it calls a friend
#36
So first, imagine a spherical cat of uniform density...
#37
My advice is untainted by experience
#38
C lets you shoot yourself in the foot
C++ makes it harder, but when you do,
you take off the entire leg
C++ makes it harder, but when you do,
you take off the entire leg
#39
I think there's something in the water around here...
#40
There are no failures, only learning experiences
#41
I did a little research and according to the all knowing internet
(which is generally about as reliable as a Magic 8 Ball)...
(which is generally about as reliable as a Magic 8 Ball)...
#42
int rand() {
return 4; // The most random number
}#43
me == evil#44
Huh, what do you know. Maybe that should be a proverb.
#45
Quoth the server, 404
#46
Why settle for the lesser of two evils?
#47
See, Square Enix doesn't just make a lot of Final Fantasy games,
it makes a lot of Final Fantasy VII games!
it makes a lot of Final Fantasy VII games!
#48
The more outrageous his hairstyle,
the more important a male character is to the story
the more important a male character is to the story
#49
And remember our motto:
If at first you don't succeed... you fail
If at first you don't succeed... you fail
#50
Experience is the best teacher. That is why
it usually arrives in a shower of sparks, a flash
of light, some loud bang, and a cloud of smoke...
it usually arrives in a shower of sparks, a flash
of light, some loud bang, and a cloud of smoke...
#51
My Google-Fu is strong...
#52
Once more, we re-welcome you back to
the stage of history. Again.
the stage of history. Again.
#53
Self-fulfilling prophecies are the best type.
You're sure to be right.
You're sure to be right.
#54
Blond and spiky == doom
#55
I smoulder with generic rage...
#56
You can't look dignified when you're having fun
#57
Reason and calm are always the first
casualties of any confrontation
casualties of any confrontation
#58
brb - ninjas
#59
Cake and grief counseling will be available at
the conclusion of the test.Thank you for
helping us help you help us all.
the conclusion of the test.Thank you for
helping us help you help us all.
#60
Soul Calibur 4: Taking the phrase
"beating the pants off someone" way too far.
"beating the pants off someone" way too far.
#61
Remember, every silver lining has a cloud inside...
#62
Curse your sudden yet inevitable betrayal!
#63
Yes, it's just a theory.
Exactly like we just have a theory of gravity...
Exactly like we just have a theory of gravity...
#64
Remember - in a parking lot, those lumps on the ground
are called speed bumps, not launching ramps!
are called speed bumps, not launching ramps!
#65
Doctors are not seven-foot high lizards
bent on reducing our numbers.
bent on reducing our numbers.
#66
And don't forget, for a fight to the death,
you need a proper battlefield!
you need a proper battlefield!
#67
On an astronomical scale,
even rare events are relatively common
even rare events are relatively common
#68
* Not an actual expert
#69
* Professional programmer in a closed set.
Do not attempt at home
Do not attempt at home
#70
Just because a lot of people like something
doesn't make it true.
doesn't make it true.
#71
I just have to live with all my might
#72
All theories are wrong, but some are useful
#73
Life is what happens along the way
#74
It's amazing what people try to prove
with a sample size of one
with a sample size of one
#75
The only thing scarier than code that doesn't work
is code that works in new and interesting ways!
is code that works in new and interesting ways!
#76
Ethics are what we do when no one is looking
#77
It could also be used for evil.
#78
Look, it's cool, OK? Don't judge me.
#79
If at first you don't succeed, you must be a programmer.
#80
If the diabolical device stops, and doesn't explode,
does that mean I'm not an Evil Overlord?
does that mean I'm not an Evil Overlord?
#81
It's just one of the hardships of being me.
#82
That should totally workie!
#83
Sometimes, your friends are crazy.
Sometimes, you are the crazy one.
Nothing wrong with either of those.
Sometimes, you are the crazy one.
Nothing wrong with either of those.
#84
I do stuff. Cool stuff.
#85
I can do whatever I want!
I'm eccentric.
I'm eccentric.
#86
Never let the perfect be the enemy of the good.
#87
That is, in a word, kindacrazy
#88
Where's my slipper? I need my Gourry beating slipper!
#89
When your costume is basically underwear
and chest hair.. you can't skimp
and chest hair.. you can't skimp
#90
When the need is great, caps lock is there to support you
#91
Computer hacking isn't really a spectator sport
#92
Applaud or be destroyed!
#93
Hmm.. apparently regret tastes like teriyaki
#94
It tastes like awesome
#95
Not a substitute for human interaction
#96
I just finished a mission
#97
It's so fluffy I'm gonna die!
#98
If this is flashing, click to claim your
$1,000,000 prize!
$1,000,000 prize!
#99
Strangeness wins the day!
#100
Well, sure, if you're thinking about it...
#101
The enemy of your enemy is the greatest
enemy of all, because of exponents
enemy of all, because of exponents
#102
If you can read this, keep on doing so
#103
Oh, thank Jesus and his velociraptors...
#104
In the words of William Shakespeare:
This totally sucks
This totally sucks
#105
It makes sense if you don't think about it
#106
I hope this is important, I was
in the middle of a great rant...
in the middle of a great rant...
#107
Agreed, a fool and a moron...
#108
There can be only one!
#109
It's a trap!
#110
One size fits most
#111
It's like hugs and kisses...
#112
I wouldn't touch that mess with Sephiroth's
ten foot prop sword
ten foot prop sword
#113
Internet high five!
(Place hand here)
(Place hand here)
#114
Where'd I put that invisibility cloak...?
#115
No matter what happens, always
claim you were expecting that result.
claim you were expecting that result.
#116
"Question everything!"
"Why?"
"Why?"
#117
I haven't lost the fight
I just haven't won yet
I just haven't won yet
#118
Snatching defeat from
the very jaws of victory...
the very jaws of victory...
#119
The ninjas are coming!
#120
Of course I'd rather to it myself..
But it's more important that it gets done
But it's more important that it gets done
#121
Oops.. I broke physics.
.. again.
.. again.
#122
Is it what the teacher teaches?
Or what the student learns?
Or what the student learns?
#123
As long as I'm fighting, I'm not dying.
And I'm not done fighting just yet.
And I'm not done fighting just yet.
#124
Of course I want to get technical about it!
It's what I do!
It's what I do!
#125
I'm a mathematician.
I combine everything.
I combine everything.
#126
Impossible just means that
no one has done it yet
no one has done it yet
#127
If it plugs in,
it's a power tool
it's a power tool
#128
He just Jackie Chan'd me...
#129
The plague of locusts and hellfires of
doom have thus far failed to materialize
doom have thus far failed to materialize
#130
I have no idea how this code worked.
#131
Finally, time to enact.. THE PLAN
#132
You do realize I'm evil, right?
Of course I'd take it the wrong way.
Of course I'd take it the wrong way.
#133
With the help of science!
#134
Science is a verb now
#135
And then, I will rise in my full
mecha form, with twice the HP...
mecha form, with twice the HP...
#136
It's nigh incomprehensible.
Don't think about it too hard.
Don't think about it too hard.
#137
I like the way you think
#138
I want to know, but at the same time,
I feel like I really don't want to know...
I feel like I really don't want to know...
#139
I am so confused right now...
#140
Problem Solver
#141
Also an eldritch horror from beyond time and space
#142
I never said it was good advice...
#143
Sorry I keep bringing up true facts...
#144
It's not fair when you smile like that...
#145
Sit back and relax..
while you still can
while you still can
#146
It's evil :)
#147
Do not mistake kindness for weakness...
#148
Soylent Gold is Chocobos
#149
When you open your mind to the impossible,
sometimes the truth reveals itself
sometimes the truth reveals itself
#150
Sometimes it's better to leave
things to the imagination...
things to the imagination...
#151
I feel like there might just be
a slight element of danger here...
a slight element of danger here...
#152
Not exactly a ringing endorsement...
#153
And it makes everyone happy
#154
Sorry, I'm not that clever...
#155
Bucket List:
#1) Don't die
#1) Don't die
#156
Didn't you know?
A frying pan makes a fantastic weapon.
A frying pan makes a fantastic weapon.
#157
Nevermind that, I'm totally
your enemy now!
your enemy now!
#158
And.. you're evil.
#159
My glass is exactly as full
as it should be, always
as it should be, always
#160
What do you mean off-topic?
Glowing swords can NEVER be off-topic!
Glowing swords can NEVER be off-topic!
#161
I am me
#162
You are you
#163
I am me. You are you.
These are good things.
These are good things.
#164
So.. we meet again.
#165
So.. we meet again.
Let the battle begin.
Let the battle begin.
#166
It's fun!
.. yet deadly
.. yet deadly
#167
Maybe I'm doing this wrong?
#168
It's not about victory.
It's about falling down, and getting back up again.
It's about falling down, and getting back up again.
#169
I can be stubborn when it comes to dying...
#170
Exactly the same as the original,
except newer and better
except newer and better
#171
Let me be surprised in real time, too!
#172
There are always two choices. Two paths to take.
One is easy. And its only reward is that it’s easy.
One is easy. And its only reward is that it’s easy.
#173
Be the change you want to see in the world
#174
Dream as if you'll live forever,
live as if you'll die today
live as if you'll die today
#175
Chrome spray paint. It's like an instant
use item to make things look cool...
use item to make things look cool...
#176
Limits? What are those?
#177
99.9% of science is boring.
But it's 100% awesome.
But it's 100% awesome.
#178
It seems that I've released the seals
that bound a dark god...
that bound a dark god...
#179
Shadows only exist because of light.
But without light, there is only darkness.
But without light, there is only darkness.
#180
Technology gives us the power
to be wrong forever.
to be wrong forever.
#181
Stand back!
I'm a professional!
I'm a professional!
#182
Well, at least now it makes a good story...
#183
I'm exaggerating, of course,
but you get my point...
but you get my point...
#184
Don't aim to be a perfect person.
Do your best as a good person.
Do your best as a good person.
#185
Don't worry, this is within my calculations...
#186
Because why not?
#187
A candle burning at both ends gives
a lovely light, but if you burn it all at once,
it can blaze brighter than a star
a lovely light, but if you burn it all at once,
it can blaze brighter than a star
#188
TITLED IN CAPS LIKE ANY RATIONAL PERSON WOULD DO
#189
Good question!
Not remotely the point, though...
Not remotely the point, though...
#190
So, what you're saying is that
"I'm cute and fluffy" is your
response to everything, got it.
"I'm cute and fluffy" is your
response to everything, got it.
#191
Medicine is the best medicine
#192
You know what they call alternative
medicine that is proven to work?
Medicine.
medicine that is proven to work?
Medicine.
#193
Clumsiness of this level makes
an excellent weapon...
an excellent weapon...
#194
Now that you've seen me like this,
I can't just let you leave...
I can't just let you leave...
#195
Just let me say this:
Don't get the wrong idea...
Don't get the wrong idea...
#196
Okay, start by forgetting that...
#197
Keeping it real...
Well, you know, as real as the internet gets
Well, you know, as real as the internet gets
#198
Reaching the moral event horizon...
#199
Not giving up is the thing I'm best at
#200
I can confirm that I am unsurprised.
#201
Absolutely wrong about what's
going to happen...
going to happen...
#202
It is you who will be defeated!
#203
Stop beating yourself up!
.. because the bad guy is there waiting
to beat you up for you..
.. because the bad guy is there waiting
to beat you up for you..
#204
It's a magic sword! I must create a
sufficiently advanced technology so my
copy will be mistaken for magic...
sufficiently advanced technology so my
copy will be mistaken for magic...
#205
Time to foam at the mouth and
howl at the moon.
And then get back to work.
howl at the moon.
And then get back to work.
#206
I will continue to wreak havoc until
forcibly medicated.
forcibly medicated.
#207
Natural enthusiasm engine
#208
Hey!
I am in a state of mental agitation right now!
I am in a state of mental agitation right now!
#209
Side effects may include a reduced
chance of immortality...
chance of immortality...
#210
Are you evil yet, or what?
We don't have all day!
We don't have all day!
#211
Talking crazy talk..
#212
Tomorrow is your chance to exceed today
#213
Do what you can, learn and improve as you
go, and all that really matters is that you
enjoy doing what you do.
go, and all that really matters is that you
enjoy doing what you do.
#214
.. not something I expected to be
accused of, to be honest.
accused of, to be honest.
#215
I am a mighty warrior who doesn't
need the spelling things!
need the spelling things!
#216
I promise to hold back with all my might
#217
Well, that was a little sinister...
#218
Personally, I love going against
common sense whenever possible!
common sense whenever possible!
#219
Surrender your information to me
or you shall suffer!
or you shall suffer!
#220
It is time.. for fisticuffs!
#221
I see this ending one of two ways..
Either we win.. or we lose.
Either we win.. or we lose.
#222
Doing a good deed for science
#223
I can't believe I went to college for this...
#224
Acts as a motivation for someone, surely...
#225
Good? Evil?
I'm the one with the keyboard.
I'm the one with the keyboard.
#226
It probably makes more sense in context...
#227
Keep calm and become a Determinator
#228
Fate? Destiny? Never.
Blaze your own trail.
Blaze your own trail.
#229
Warping reality for the fun of it.
#230
Life isn't mundane.
It's as awesome as you make it.
It's as awesome as you make it.
#231
Life is one's mark on the world.
Immortality and meeting the future in one.
Make it count.
Immortality and meeting the future in one.
Make it count.
#232
[[Insert Pithy Quote Here]]
#233
The other websites have yet to see
through my disguise...
through my disguise...
#234
Answering the unaskable.
#235
Just doing what I can.
#236
So wrong. And awesome.
#237
So, here's what I think happened...
#238
Time and effort well spent?
#239
Impacting how you view other people.
#240
Always assume ninjas.
#241
Your hero has shut down unexpectedly.
If you continue seeing this message, please
consider therapy for their past traumas.
If you continue seeing this message, please
consider therapy for their past traumas.
#242
Oh! Yay, you haven't been clobbered!
#243
Chock full of awesome and strange.
#244
- I don't really care for the suggestion that
you're stronger than me!
- Yeah, I wasn't really suggesting...
you're stronger than me!
- Yeah, I wasn't really suggesting...
#245
TV Tropes is evil.
Never go there.
Never go there.
#246
Don't worry, the backstory will be
explained in the OVA...
explained in the OVA...
#247
Best preparation step to defeat the great evil?
Eat a large meal. Always.
Eat a large meal. Always.
#248
I didn't even know I could do that...
#249
I suppose no one wants to work when they
think the world's going to end in a week.
Sure won't help their paychecks...
think the world's going to end in a week.
Sure won't help their paychecks...
#250
Never underestimate the power of guts!!!
#251
Oh, me? I'm just trying to save the world...
#252
Might be an evil crazy madman...
#253
Can a Super Saiyan dye their hair?
#254
We can't feed a Mogwai after midnight.
So when can we start feeding it again?
So when can we start feeding it again?
#255
Redubbed version of the original.
#256
I guess I should have left it uncorrected
so you could nitpick it.
so you could nitpick it.
#257
Ignoring the plan has been my plan all along...
#258
Ah, I see almost everyone has arrived, with
only limited injuries, excellent...
only limited injuries, excellent...
#259
Not recommended for those
mentally under 18...
mentally under 18...
#260
Because reasons.
#261
Popular enough to be brought back
in a sequel or spin-off series...
in a sequel or spin-off series...
#262
Hm, time for a new goal this year...
Is ruling the world still acceptable?
Is ruling the world still acceptable?
#263
I'll have to check, but I think this hot sauce
is banned by chemical weapons treaties...
is banned by chemical weapons treaties...
#264
Please, civil discourse only.
OR I WILL MAKE YOU SUFFER.
OR I WILL MAKE YOU SUFFER.
#265
99% of science is unexciting humdrum...
#266
I am not a scientist.
I am a mad scientist!
I am a mad scientist!
#267
I had all sorts of wacky adventures!
#268
Added to the list of
"Things I learned about 4 seconds ago"
"Things I learned about 4 seconds ago"
#269
Being a geek isn’t about the stuff we love,
it’s about how we love it.
it’s about how we love it.
#270
I suppose I'll allow myself to forgive you this time...
#271
Let us see if your feeble minds can comprehend.. this!
#272
Of all the timelines I currently exist in,
this is my favorite.
this is my favorite.
#273
Should I be terrified, or simply scared?
#274
Hyper about the things you'd least expect
#275
I have approximate knowledge of many things...
#276
Mathematically impossible
#277
I'll pretend to accept that for now...
#278
Safety systems - deactivated
#279
Despised by everyone living on this blue planet
#280
Not sure what to do, but blazing ahead anyway.
#281
Probably best off alone.
#282
This is how you take over the world - not by robots
or bioengineered plagues, but by chocolate.
or bioengineered plagues, but by chocolate.
#283
Hello, whoever and wherever you are...
#284
.. until the snow melts and then falls again
#285
They may have psychics working on their retribution staff.
Or they might check LinkedIn.
Or they might check LinkedIn.
#286
Enjoy the detours in your path.. that's where you'll find the things you didn't even know you wanted
#287
You should enjoy the little detours to the fullest
#288
Otters are cute, fun loving, and completely untrustworthy
