#1
I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am



#2
It's a proven fact that the last 10% of a program
takes just as long to make as the previous 90%



#3
#define sizeof(x) ((rand()%500+1) * 4)



#4
#define sizeof(x) ((int)(&x))



#5
PERL is the one programming language that
forces you to use as many emoticons as possible



#6
You only need 2 tools in life.
If it moves, and shouldn't, use duct tape.
If it doesn't move, and should, use WD-40.



#7
Technology will never be so advanced
that "whack it on the table" isn't an option.
Eric Johnston



#8
That just made me unreasonably happy...
Sionna



#9
Luckily, my personal Reality Distortion Field
still seems to be working at full power...



#10
I put the "ick" in "magic"...



#11
The moral of the story is that with a
contrived example, you can prove anything.



#12
You... brilliant fiend. I would never have
guessed that your plan was to do nothing.



#13
It is possible to compare apples, oranges,
planets, and 17th century philosophers..
if you squint hard enough



#14
Yes, there are bugs! Many bugs!



#15
The Large Print Giveth
and the Small Print Taketh Away



#16
We re-welcome you back to the stage of history... again
Soul Calibur III



#17
In the event this airplane should become a waterplane,
your seat cushion or the passenger next to you
may be used as a flotation device...



#18
Roses are #ff0000, violets are #0000ff



#19
Duct tape is like the Force:
it has a Light Side, a Dark Side,
and it binds the Universe together.



#20
Thou hast done great naughty



#21
Soul Calibur
Wielding weapons of improbable dimensions
in the Age of History



#22
All those who believe in telekinesis please raise my hand...



#23
Sorry, but computers are not yet that advanced...



#24
Lies!
Terrible lies spread by my enemies to discredit me!



#25
Graaainss.....
Graaaaaaaiiiiinnssss.....
Vegan Zombie



#26
Why does this code work?



#27
That sounds suspiciously like a bet...



#28
That's bizarre to the point that it doesn't affect me



#29
What is a leet?
Is that a type of ferret?



#30
Fighting with Gundam is always the best solution.



#31
I am so going to quote that out of context...



#32
I don't mean fixed like it works



#33
Where's the "No, that's not OK" button?



#34
Would you try for a Scooby Snack?



#35
Unix is user friendly.
It's just very picky about who it calls a friend



#36
So first, imagine a spherical cat of uniform density...



#37
My advice is untainted by experience



#38
C lets you shoot yourself in the foot
C++ makes it harder, but when you do,
you take off the entire leg



#39
I think there's something in the water around here...



#40
There are no failures, only learning experiences



#41
I did a little research and according to the all knowing internet
(which is generally about as reliable as a Magic 8 Ball)...



#42
int rand() {
  return 4; // The most random number
}



#43
me == evil



#44
Huh, what do you know. Maybe that should be a proverb.



#45
Quoth the server, 404



#46
Why settle for the lesser of two evils?



#47
See, Square Enix doesn't just make a lot of Final Fantasy games,
it makes a lot of Final Fantasy VII games!



#48
The more outrageous his hairstyle,
the more important a male character is to the story



#49
And remember our motto:
If at first you don't succeed... you fail



#50
Experience is the best teacher. That is why
it usually arrives in a shower of sparks, a flash
of light, some loud bang, and a cloud of smoke...



#51
My Google-Fu is strong...



#52
Once more, we re-welcome you back to
the stage of history. Again.
Soul Calibur IV



#53
Self-fulfilling prophecies are the best type.
You're sure to be right.



#54
Blond and spiky == doom



#55
I smoulder with generic rage...



#56
You can't look dignified when you're having fun



#57
Reason and calm are always the first
casualties of any confrontation



#58
brb - ninjas



#59
Cake and grief counseling will be available at
the conclusion of the test.Thank you for
helping us help you help us all.



#60
Soul Calibur 4: Taking the phrase
"beating the pants off someone" way too far.



#61
Remember, every silver lining has a cloud inside...



#62
Curse your sudden yet inevitable betrayal!



#63
Yes, it's just a theory.
Exactly like we just have a theory of gravity...



#64
Remember - in a parking lot, those lumps on the ground
are called speed bumps, not launching ramps!



#65
Doctors are not seven-foot high lizards
bent on reducing our numbers.



#66
And don't forget, for a fight to the death,
you need a proper battlefield!
Belldandy, Oh My Goddess Ch 40, "Robot Wars"



#67
On an astronomical scale,
even rare events are relatively common



#68
* Not an actual expert



#69
* Professional programmer in a closed set.
Do not attempt at home



#70
Just because a lot of people like something
doesn't make it true.



#71
I just have to live with all my might



#72
All theories are wrong, but some are useful



#73
Life is what happens along the way



#74
It's amazing what people try to prove
with a sample size of one



#75
The only thing scarier than code that doesn't work
is code that works in new and interesting ways!



#76
Ethics are what we do when no one is looking



#77
It could also be used for evil.



#78
Look, it's cool, OK? Don't judge me.



#79
If at first you don't succeed, you must be a programmer.



#80
If the diabolical device stops, and doesn't explode,
does that mean I'm not an Evil Overlord?



#81
It's just one of the hardships of being me.



#82
That should totally workie!



#83
Sometimes, your friends are crazy.
Sometimes, you are the crazy one.
Nothing wrong with either of those.



#84
I do stuff. Cool stuff.



#85
I can do whatever I want!
I'm eccentric.



#86
Never let the perfect be the enemy of the good.



#87
That is, in a word, kindacrazy



#88
Where's my slipper? I need my Gourry beating slipper!
Lina Inverse, Slayers



#89
When your costume is basically underwear
and chest hair.. you can't skimp



#90
When the need is great, caps lock is there to support you



#91
Computer hacking isn't really a spectator sport



#92
Applaud or be destroyed!



#93
Hmm.. apparently regret tastes like teriyaki



#94
It tastes like awesome



#95
Not a substitute for human interaction



#96
I just finished a mission
Mike Garcia



#97
It's so fluffy I'm gonna die!



#98
If this is flashing, click to claim your
$1,000,000 prize!



#99
Strangeness wins the day!



#100
Well, sure, if you're thinking about it...



#101
The enemy of your enemy is the greatest
enemy of all, because of exponents



#102
If you can read this, keep on doing so



#103
Oh, thank Jesus and his velociraptors...



#104
In the words of William Shakespeare:
This totally sucks



#105
It makes sense if you don't think about it



#106
I hope this is important, I was
in the middle of a great rant...



#107
Agreed, a fool and a moron...



#108
There can be only one!



#109
It's a trap!



#110
One size fits most



#111
It's like hugs and kisses...



#112
I wouldn't touch that mess with Sephiroth's
ten foot prop sword



#113
Internet high five!
(Place hand here)



#114
Where'd I put that invisibility cloak...?



#115
No matter what happens, always
claim you were expecting that result.



#116
"Question everything!"
"Why?"



#117
I haven't lost the fight
I just haven't won yet



#118
Snatching defeat from
the very jaws of victory...



#119
The ninjas are coming!



#120
Of course I'd rather to it myself..
But it's more important that it gets done



#121
Oops.. I broke physics.
.. again.



#122
Is it what the teacher teaches?
Or what the student learns?



#123
As long as I'm fighting, I'm not dying.
And I'm not done fighting just yet.



#124
Of course I want to get technical about it!
It's what I do!



#125
I'm a mathematician.
I combine everything.



#126
Impossible just means that
no one has done it yet



#127
If it plugs in,
it's a power tool



#128
He just Jackie Chan'd me...



#129
The plague of locusts and hellfires of
doom have thus far failed to materialize



#130
I have no idea how this code worked.



#131
Finally, time to enact.. THE PLAN



#132
You do realize I'm evil, right?
Of course I'd take it the wrong way.



#133
With the help of science!



#134
Science is a verb now



#135
And then, I will rise in my full
mecha form, with twice the HP...



#136
It's nigh incomprehensible.
Don't think about it too hard.



#137
I like the way you think



#138
I want to know, but at the same time,
I feel like I really don't want to know...



#139
I am so confused right now...



#140
Problem Solver



#141
Also an eldritch horror from beyond time and space



#142
I never said it was good advice...



#143
Sorry I keep bringing up true facts...



#144
It's not fair when you smile like that...



#145
Sit back and relax..
while you still can
Dr. Who recap



#146
It's evil :)



#147
Do not mistake kindness for weakness...



#148
Soylent Gold is Chocobos



#149
When you open your mind to the impossible,
sometimes the truth reveals itself



#150
Sometimes it's better to leave
things to the imagination...



#151
I feel like there might just be
a slight element of danger here...



#152
Not exactly a ringing endorsement...



#153
And it makes everyone happy



#154
Sorry, I'm not that clever...



#155
Bucket List:
#1) Don't die



#156
Didn't you know?
A frying pan makes a fantastic weapon.



#157
Nevermind that, I'm totally
your enemy now!



#158
And.. you're evil.



#159
My glass is exactly as full
as it should be, always



#160
What do you mean off-topic?
Glowing swords can NEVER be off-topic!



#161
I am me



#162
You are you



#163
I am me. You are you.
These are good things.



#164
So.. we meet again.



#165
So.. we meet again.
Let the battle begin.



#166
It's fun!
.. yet deadly



#167
Maybe I'm doing this wrong?



#168
It's not about victory.
It's about falling down, and getting back up again.



#169
I can be stubborn when it comes to dying...



#170
Exactly the same as the original,
except newer and better



#171
Let me be surprised in real time, too!



#172
There are always two choices. Two paths to take.
One is easy. And its only reward is that it’s easy.



#173
Be the change you want to see in the world
Gandhi



#174
Dream as if you'll live forever,
live as if you'll die today
James Dean



#175
Chrome spray paint. It's like an instant
use item to make things look cool...



#176
Limits? What are those?



#177
99.9% of science is boring.
But it's 100% awesome.



#178
It seems that I've released the seals
that bound a dark god...



#179
Shadows only exist because of light.
But without light, there is only darkness.



#180
Technology gives us the power
to be wrong forever.



#181
Stand back!
I'm a professional!



#182
Well, at least now it makes a good story...



#183
I'm exaggerating, of course,
but you get my point...



#184
Don't aim to be a perfect person.
Do your best as a good person.



#185
Don't worry, this is within my calculations...



#186
Because why not?



#187
A candle burning at both ends gives
a lovely light, but if you burn it all at once,
it can blaze brighter than a star



#188
TITLED IN CAPS LIKE ANY RATIONAL PERSON WOULD DO



#189
Good question!
Not remotely the point, though...



#190
So, what you're saying is that
"I'm cute and fluffy" is your
response to everything, got it.



#191
Medicine is the best medicine



#192
You know what they call alternative
medicine that is proven to work?
Medicine.



#193
Clumsiness of this level makes
an excellent weapon...



#194
Now that you've seen me like this,
I can't just let you leave...



#195
Just let me say this:
Don't get the wrong idea...



#196
Okay, start by forgetting that...



#197
Keeping it real...
Well, you know, as real as the internet gets



#198
Reaching the moral event horizon...



#199
Not giving up is the thing I'm best at



#200
I can confirm that I am unsurprised.



#201
Absolutely wrong about what's
going to happen...



#202
It is you who will be defeated!



#203
Stop beating yourself up!
.. because the bad guy is there waiting
to beat you up for you..



#204
It's a magic sword! I must create a
sufficiently advanced technology so my
copy will be mistaken for magic...



#205
Time to foam at the mouth and
howl at the moon.
And then get back to work.



#206
I will continue to wreak havoc until
forcibly medicated.



#207
Natural enthusiasm engine



#208
Hey!
I am in a state of mental agitation right now!



#209
Side effects may include a reduced
chance of immortality...



#210
Are you evil yet, or what?
We don't have all day!



#211
Talking crazy talk..



#212
Tomorrow is your chance to exceed today



#213
Do what you can, learn and improve as you
go, and all that really matters is that you
enjoy doing what you do.



#214
.. not something I expected to be
accused of, to be honest.



#215
I am a mighty warrior who doesn't
need the spelling things!



#216
I promise to hold back with all my might



#217
Well, that was a little sinister...



#218
Personally, I love going against
common sense whenever possible!



#219
Surrender your information to me
or you shall suffer!



#220
It is time.. for fisticuffs!



#221
I see this ending one of two ways..
Either we win.. or we lose.



#222
Doing a good deed for science



#223
I can't believe I went to college for this...
Kari Byron, Mythbusters



#224
Acts as a motivation for someone, surely...



#225
Good? Evil?
I'm the one with the keyboard.



#226
It probably makes more sense in context...



#227
Keep calm and become a Determinator



#228
Fate? Destiny? Never.
Blaze your own trail.



#229
Warping reality for the fun of it.



#230
Life isn't mundane.
It's as awesome as you make it.



#231
Life is one's mark on the world.
Immortality and meeting the future in one.
Make it count.



#232
[[Insert Pithy Quote Here]]



#233
The other websites have yet to see
through my disguise...



#234
Answering the unaskable.



#235
Just doing what I can.



#236
So wrong. And awesome.



#237
So, here's what I think happened...



#238
Time and effort well spent?



#239
Impacting how you view other people.



#240
Always assume ninjas.



#241
Your hero has shut down unexpectedly.
If you continue seeing this message, please
consider therapy for their past traumas.



#242
Oh! Yay, you haven't been clobbered!
Bulma, DragonBall Z, to Future Trunks



#243
Chock full of awesome and strange.



#244
- I don't really care for the suggestion that
you're stronger than me!
- Yeah, I wasn't really suggesting...
Vegeta and Goku, DragonBall Z



#245
TV Tropes is evil.
Never go there.



#246
Don't worry, the backstory will be
explained in the OVA...



#247
Best preparation step to defeat the great evil?
Eat a large meal. Always.



#248
I didn't even know I could do that...



#249
I suppose no one wants to work when they
think the world's going to end in a week.
Sure won't help their paychecks...
Chichi, DragonBall Z



#250
Never underestimate the power of guts!!!



#251
Oh, me? I'm just trying to save the world...



#252
Might be an evil crazy madman...



#253
Can a Super Saiyan dye their hair?



#254
We can't feed a Mogwai after midnight.
So when can we start feeding it again?



#255
Redubbed version of the original.



#256
I guess I should have left it uncorrected
so you could nitpick it.



#257
Ignoring the plan has been my plan all along...



#258
Ah, I see almost everyone has arrived, with
only limited injuries, excellent...



#259
Not recommended for those
mentally under 18...



#260
Because reasons.



#261
Popular enough to be brought back
in a sequel or spin-off series...



#262
Hm, time for a new goal this year...
Is ruling the world still acceptable?



#263
I'll have to check, but I think this hot sauce
is banned by chemical weapons treaties...



#264
Please, civil discourse only.
OR I WILL MAKE YOU SUFFER.



#265
99% of science is unexciting humdrum...
Kurisu Makise, Steins;Gate



#266
I am not a scientist.
I am a mad scientist!



#267
I had all sorts of wacky adventures!



#268
Added to the list of
"Things I learned about 4 seconds ago"



#269
Being a geek isn’t about the stuff we love,
it’s about how we love it.
Wil Wheaton



#270
I suppose I'll allow myself to forgive you this time...



#271
Let us see if your feeble minds can comprehend.. this!



#272
Of all the timelines I currently exist in,
this is my favorite.
Wil Wheaton



#273
Should I be terrified, or simply scared?



#274
Hyper about the things you'd least expect



#275
I have approximate knowledge of many things...



#276
Mathematically impossible



#277
I'll pretend to accept that for now...



#278
Safety systems - deactivated



#279
Despised by everyone living on this blue planet



#280
Not sure what to do, but blazing ahead anyway.



#281
Probably best off alone.



#282
This is how you take over the world - not by robots
or bioengineered plagues, but by chocolate.



#283
Hello, whoever and wherever you are...



#284
.. until the snow melts and then falls again



#285
They may have psychics working on their retribution staff.
Or they might check LinkedIn.



#286
Enjoy the detours in your path.. that's where you'll find the things you didn't even know you wanted



#287
You should enjoy the little detours to the fullest



#288
Otters are cute, fun loving, and completely untrustworthy